jemyl: My orange male cat, Brudder (Default)
2011-09-13 07:27 pm

The Weirdest Pity Party I've ever allowed myself to date

Today, I decided to go out onto the back porch to get the yogurt maker so that I could make some more yogurt. On Sunday I got the plain active yogurt with which to do this and on Monday my milk arrived with my Meals On Wheels order for the week.

It was easy to find the yogurt maker, all set out and ready. All I had to do was to bring it into the main house. It even had all six jars and their lids. Great! I was all set, or so I thought.

I made the step up to the main house and set the yogurt maker on top of the bookshelf that was there. It seemed secure, and was until I stepped aside and turned around to pull the heavy sliding door shut. Then, darn it all, I hit the shelf with my big old butt and shook it just enough to dislodge the yogurt maker, which fell the three feet to the floor. Two of the glass jars hit the door track and broke while one rolled back onto the porch but stayed whole.

I picked it all up, but not until after I had burst into tears of anger and frustration. I had me a real ten minute pity party of why did it have to be so hard to make things nice for myself. I was trying hard, even made it with my sore knee and hip, got up the step, even found my neato coffee grinder and coffee cone to be able to make decent fresh-ground coffee again. Why does everything have to be so damned hard ----- you know the whine. It was the complete poor me stuff.

I allowed myself the full ten minutes to wail and moan and then blew my nose, cleaned up the glass and pulled the door closed. I know I will find a couple of cheapo replacements for the broken pieces either in my cabinets or kitchen boxes or at the dollar store. Not only that, but I think the machine will work quite well with only four containers, if I remember correctly.

Additionally, I discovered a stick vacuum cleaner right by the door out on the porch. This could be a real Godsend to me for finally being able to clean some areas of this place. I would have missed it if I hadn't broken the glasses right near it. It is stuck discreetly into the corner beside the old craft table and blends in really well. Coincidence or God alive and well and acting in my life, which is it? I choose God acting, but you believe as suits you.

Now, please also notice that I said I cried tears of frustration and anger. I did not say I "got emotional." I absolutely reject and despise that politically correct new way to describe tears. I cry when I shed tears. They may be tears of joy, sorrow, frustration or too much pollen, but tears and crying they are.

I get emotional about a lot of things. Not all of that involves tears. Emotions can range from rage to grief and also include such things as joy, sadness, anger, frustration ---- the gamut. If some boob ever says to me that they "see that makes you emotional" may God help them because they are guaranteed to see emotional and it will be the anger end.

That is when I will tell them off. Someone once said I could tell someone to go to Hell so sweetly that they would actually be looking forward to the trip ---- until they finally realized where I had asked them to travel. By then, of course, I was usually long gone.

If you would like to do this too, I suggest you tell them this: "I have a great idea for you to take a nice vacation. I heartily recommend a cruise along the River Styx. It is great at this time of year, especially if you go by bushel basket and get one that has carried peaches. It is a devil of a trip to book so I suggest you get on it right away. Have fun!"

This must be delivered very sweetly with a smiling face, after which you walk away smirking. It will take them about five minutes to figure out what you said. If they are not the brightest bulb in the fixture, they may spend the next several minutes attempting to book a cruise on the River Styx, usually much to the amusement of any colleagues they happen to ask about it or tell. This is especially true if they are a real a-hole.

Another one I remember using once was telling the offending party I had a new bridge for them cross. It is over the River Styx and I suggest they do it right away, and don't forget to take their peach basket. I've also been known to tell someone to please go take that road paved with good intentions as they will fit right into the place at the end of it.

Now, please get that I can swear like a sailor and have the temper that goes with my Irish heritage. I just sometimes choose to have a bit of fun at the expense those who anger or upset me. It helps me to avoid that ugly cry that comes so easily to me when I am either very angry or my feelings are hurt. Figuring out how to tell the person off in a creative fashion without using swear words engages my mind in something other than the emotion of the moment, giving me more control. I just wish I could do it every time someone ticks me off ----and I just don't.

This may seem a weird way to end a piece on a pity party. It goes to ways to avoid getting stuck there. I'm also kind of tired which makes me a bit slap-happy.

It also goes to things one can do to others who can contribute to one's need to take ten for a pity party. It is so much easier to avoid when one can tell off someone who contributes to the upset. Now, how do I tell off myself? LOL ---Peace ----Ellen